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- “Adjustment, talking it out, and caring are some ways to avoid possible issues
- Euphoria, reactions, adjustment, liking and loving are the stages”
New Delhi, August 9, 2018:
As per a new study, a stressful marriage may be unhealthy, especially for men. In fact, for some people it may be as bad as smoking. Some conflicting topics that affected health include children, money, in-laws, and recreational activities. Over time, a stress-filled marriage can have adverse effects – from hampering heart function to the body’s ability to fight diseases.
People in a stressful relationship can have damaging inflammation, extreme changes in appetite and increased levels of stress hormones. Conflict can be particularly damaging for health if spouses are hostile or defensive during disagreements. Arguing about the same topic over and over again without finding a solution can prove detrimental.
Speaking about this, Padma Shri Awardee, Dr KK Aggarwal, President, HCFI, said, “Boy and girl meet, sparks fly, and they live happily ever after. This is the classic notion of romantic love, but something that happens only in fairy tales. Real-life relationships don’t just happen. Every relationship evolves over time and must work its way through five stages before it settles down to last a lifetime. These five stages, in order of their appearance, are: euphoria, reaction, adjustment, liking, and love. These five stages apply to not just the courtship phase but also marriage eventually. Everything appears rosy in the first flush of love, flaws are overlooked, and the relationship is wonderful and easy. The amphetamine-like substance called phenyl-ethylamine is the neuromodulator in this phase. The excitement soon starts wearing off and then reality hits. It is during this stage that most break-ups occur. The reactions are based on release of adrenaline and noradrenaline.”
In a joint family concept, marriages are often successful because if one partner is not able to fulfil the non-physical needs, the same can be taken over by others in the family. In a single family, if one starts looking for fulfilling non-sexual needs from other friend the same may be the start of a conflict between husband and wife.
Adding further, Dr Aggarwal, who is also the Group Editor-in-Chief of IJCP, said, “It is not the act of getting married that makes people healthier but the support that spouses give each other. Adequate support can help them stay healthier, heal faster, and have better mental well-being. Best marriages are between two Kapha partners and worst marriages are between two pitta partners. Vata with Vata marriages are also a ground for divorce but can be easily salvaged with proper counseling. India is a Vata-Pita society and hence most marriages can be saved if Ayurveda matchmaking principles are used.”
Stages of any relationships are euphoria, reaction, adjustment, liking and loving. Relational disharmony is an established risk factor for heart attacks. This year the 25thPerfect Health Mela in October will also focus on relational harmony as one of the subject.
Some tips from HCFI
- A healthy relationship is not about winning and losing. There are fights in every marriage which should be fair. Understanding how the other person deals with conflict can help a marriage in a big way. It is important to not keep scores
- Simply holding hands can create stronger feelings between people. It does not have to always be about physical intimacy.
- No family is perfect, and it is better to refrain from complaining about your partner’s family or trying to change them. Having a sense of humor is often the best approach.
- Turn off social media, stop texting, and hiding your phone. Turning away from technology gives a couple the space to just be themselves.
